Getting 'sick'

* After an informative discussion with a very 'experienced' sick leave getter, I think I should share some of his techniques and knowledge with everyone. But please, some of these methods are pretty outrageous, so try at your own risk (and boss, if you're reading this blog of mine, I assure you I've never tried them before... hehe)

Ever woke up in the morning, wishing you didn't? Ever wished you could just throw the alarm clock out the window? Not knowing how to tell your boss you don't wanna go to work?
Have no fear, here's slinky's guide to getting sick leave effectively, when you're not sick.

1) Diahorrea
- the most used trick in the book. But, walking up to the doctor when you're not gushing like a hydrant through your rear end still puts you on a 50 - 50 chance of NOT getting the sick leave.
- Before you walk into the clinic, try downing a can of COKE, with all that gas in your stomach, the first thing doctor will say is 'son, you're quite sick, you think 1 day sick leave enough ah?'
- If you're the kind that has to do the 'big business' in the morning, keep it in! It'll give you a nice cold sweat, greenish pale face, and a rumbling stomach when you get to the clinic. No doctors are gonna decline your request for a day off!

2) Eye infection
- Doctors do not hesitate to grant you sick leave especially when you're down with some highly contagious disease. Eye infections are horrible to look at (makes your own eyes water when you see others having it), and they look awfully serious.
- To get the right effect, sprinkle some tobacco leaves into some water, the drip onto eye..... according to users, it hurts like hell, and your eyes are gonna be red and watery for at least an hour or two....... what's 2 hours of pain compared to 8 hours of leisure time.... (though I really don't recommend anyone trying this, unless you're that desperate for a day off)

3) Fevers/headache
- This one's a bit tough, doctors have a termometer to check what your body temperature is, but hey, they stick it in your mouth anyway, so, drink a cup of hot milo, jog a little (this will give you the cold sweat effect) before going to the doctor
- Then there's also the migraine trick, it's virtually undetectable, immeasureable and based only on the patient's feedback on headaches.

4) Coughs/colds
- Aiya, coughing easy only lah, just cough .... give it a few violent coughs outside the doctor's room, and a couple more when you walk in. Pop in some puppy eyed pitiful look, it'll get u that sick leave.

5) Sprains
- This one's kinda hard to pull off, but if you do, the payout is about 2 weeks worth of holidays.
- In order to convince the doctor you have that major sprain or something, you first have to show him some swelling, but that's subjective, if your ankle or knee looks chunky/chubby already, it might still work.


So, there you go, happy holidaying!